kiss_it_better

[ He certainly knows that Chang Geng's name is ill-omened, it's something that occurred to him the first time he heard it. Back then, he'd attributed it to some strange fancy of the Man woman, or perhaps that the Northern tribes had different superstitions regarding the stars. But knowing what he knows now, of course that name was intended to torment the boy, like everything she did to him. And yet, after so many years of calling "Chang Geng," how can he possibly switch to "Li Min"? He might as well call him "your royal Highness."

This question, Chang Geng's sleeplessness: he'd hoped to send the boy a sweet message, but it seems he only opened old wounds. He sits down at the table, and is silent for a moment before answering: ]

In the Northwest, the golden sand stretches to the horizon on all sides; the sky overhead is endless and vast. There's a peculiar clarity to the air. At night, the thousands upon thousands of stars sparkle so brightly that they cast a shadow. They rise and fall, moving inexorably through their paths, and I always thought, back then, that it made no sense to try to foretell what will happen on earth according to the stars. They are constant and predictable, but human affairs are always changing.

[ A little pause. He smiles. ]

Now of course, we know about stars and planets and moons. There's nothing disastrous or monstrous about any of them.

[ He plucks the vine full of flowers from Chang Geng's fingers and holds it up, pretending to look at it; but at the angle he's holding it, he is really looking past it, at Chang Geng's face. ]

This "evening star flower" is of course lovely to behold, a treat to all senses, and admirable besides in its tenacity. Naturally it's something good.

[ His gaze softens. On his lips are words he can't say: during those years we were separated, every night I looked for "Chang Geng" in the evening sky. ]

[He wouldn't want him to stop calling Chang Geng. In a lot of ways, it still felt like the name that truly belonged to him. And Gu Yun was the only one who made the name feel less like a burden, less like a curse. The way he called his name was the same as his presence in his life before that fateful day, before the truth came out: it was the one good thing in an entire situation that seemed awful and dim.

So he listened, hanging onto every word. His fingers twitch where he's holding the flower at that smile and he knew, if he were anyone else, if he could have afforded to, he might have teared up.

His fingers are lax when the flower is taken from him, offering no resistance as he meets Gu Yun's gaze.

That message had torn open an old wound, but it was one that had been festering for years.

He couldn't help but reach out, trying to take Gu Yun's hand, to thread their fingers together and ground himself, to remind himself that this was real, that it wasn't a dream on the cusp of warping into a nightmare.]

If you believe that...then so do I.

[Whatever Gu Yun says he should or could be...Chang Geng will do it.

[ He squeezes Chang Geng's hand back, warmly. Then he sets the flower vine down, across their laced fingers, and reaches to pat Chang Geng's head. ]

That's good.

[ He sits like that for a while, basking in the warmth of the moment, and the moonlacing. This business with Chang Geng's name, it has weighed on his mind since finding out about what his adopted mother had done to him. When he'd heard about the "evening star flower," he'd seen this as a chance to say what he really felt about all that.

He's never been one for superstition, especially prophecy. Hadn't he himself suffered, due to a bald donkey's worthless pronouncement about his luck? His fiancée died back then. If that was his fault, then it was because certain elements in the court didn't want Emperor Wu's grandson to have the backing of a wife's powerful family. He doesn't have to think too hard who those "elements" might have been.

As for luck, there is an element of chance in all things, but generally things happen for a reason. In battle, he never trusted to luck or fate; he trusted his own planning, preparation, foresight, and cunning. ]

There are still a few hours until sunrise. Come to bed, and we'll sleep for a while.

[Honestly, sleep sounded like a chore. But he also knew, as fitfully as he slept, it was better than not sleeping at all.

Besides, he always slept a little better with Gu Yun there.]

The soup. [He lets go with great reluctance, pausing briefly to watch the flower fall to the table before he moved to where they kept the bowls.] You'll sleep better with something warm in your stomach.

[ He's torn. He does want the soup, but it seems more important right now to take care of Chang Geng and see that he gets some sleep. On the other hand, he's well aware that Chang Geng derives comfort in fussing over him.

... ]

All right. Just one bowl. Not too much, or I won't sleep.

[ While Chang Geng putters about, he twists the vine between his fingertips. ]

Mn.

[A vague sound of agreement as he picks out an appropriately sized bowl and ladels some soup into it. He's had to experiment with new ingredients, but with some research and a lot of trial and error he'd found some recipes that were nutritious and delicious.

It helped that he knew Gu Yun's tastes very well.

He leaves the bowl on the table with a spoon.]

Don't let it get cold.

[It was, of course, letting off some steam but he'd also had the machine keep it at that perfect temperature where it was hot but not scalding.]

[ He spoons up some of the steaming soup. "Nutritious" means "loaded with vegetables," and he sighs inwardly. But after everything, he doesn't have the heart to complain, and swallows it down.

......

Strange, it doesn't taste too bad. Or maybe he's getting used to vegetables. Either way, it doesn't take long before the bowl is finished. He sets the bowl aside and stands, reaching up to pat Chang Geng's shoulder. ]

Come on now, let's go to bed. Use my arm as a pillow, perhaps you'll sleep better.

[He actually meant to wash the bowl first and yet...the invitation is very inviting.

Not because Chang Geng would sleep well, but he always did sleep better with Gu Yun there and even if not, would he ever give up on the chance to rest in his arms?

Still, he looks back at the bowl first because...he likes things being clean.

...maybe he can come out later, after Gu Yun had fallen asleep, maybe.]

Mm. It's late.

[He just moves the bowl to the sink to be dealt with later. But he pauses again, looking at the flower on the table.]

We should put that in some water.

[Or press it in a book, maybe...?]

Still on about preserving it?

[ He pulls Chang Geng away from his sink puttering to press a kiss against his cheek. What's the boy going to do, clean the kitchen all night? He'll unleash a few more sweet words to distract him from that endeavor. ]

That evening star flower was enough to keep me company when I was alone, but surely it pales in comparison to the real thing.

[The kiss is enough to distract him for a moment. He assumes that was it...

...but then he says that and there was no hope of focusing on anything except Gu Yun after that.

He stares, red colour suffusing his cheeks.]

Zi Xi, you...

[He's speechless. It's a little embarrassing how often Gu Yun leaves him that way.]

[ He lifts his cold hands, to cup Chang Geng's flaming cheeks. The warmth feels nice. He leans in, to press a kiss against his "evening flower's" lips.

In a low whisper, he coaxes: ]

I've asked you twice to bed already, will you make me ask a third time?

[ It's cute to see Chang Geng blush and stammer like this, but also a little sad, he thinks. The boy really ought to have a better opinion of himself. ]

[The cold touch on his cheek makes him frown. Not because of the touch itself but how cold Gu Yun is.

But in the end, he does smile.]

Who would dare ask the Marquis of Order to ask for anything a third time?

[Certainly not him. He pulls one of Gu Yun's hand's from his cheek to lace their fingers together. He presses a kiss to the knuckles.]

I will, of course, obey my general and go back to bed.

Hm! Are you my little soldier now?

[ The moonlacing effect shoots through his hand as Chang Geng kisses it, warming it further. His eyes lid, as he uses their joined hands to pull the boy along to the bedroom. It's most likely they won't be getting that much sleep for the moment. ]

Keep guard over me, then, for the rest of the night.

Mm. If you will have me.

[Whether it was a soldier or a prince, he was always willing to be whatever Gu Yun needed (if not necessarily always what he wanted).

But this wasn't about that. This was just some light-hearted teasing after an evening that was...probably far more emotionally exhausting than was meant to be.

...still, he pauses for a second. If he promises, then there goes his plan to come back out to wash dishes later...

...in the end, it wasn't much of a competition. He'd follow Gu Yun anywhere.]

I hope I can guard your dreams. [Because he would wish Gu Yun happy dreams whenever possible.]

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ftb here?

Sounds good!