kiss_it_better

[ Part of him wants to ask, in case there's some chance that Chang Geng hasn't listened to the message. "Just some nonsense I sent, just go ahead and delete it." Honestly, if it had been something physical, like a note, he'd find a way to steal and burn the thing. But this powerful technology defies his lifetime's honed talents at deceit and subterfuge.

But once Chang Geng pulls him close and kisses him, he feels certain that there's no way Chang Geng didn't hear it. Part of him sighs, inwardly. How embarrassing. In that moment, he'd poured out his soul.

In that moment...

...he'd steeled himself to leave behind all the joys he'd experienced here, in this place, in exchange for the horrors of war. Chang Geng had been stabbed when he'd arrived here, and despite the boy's assurances, he can't be completely sure Chang Geng will recover from that. Even if he survives, a thousand dangers face them both, both on and off the battlefield. Gu Yun's little fantasy about a holiday house in Jiangnan notwithstanding, it's quite possible the only peaceful days they'll ever enjoy together are here. Despite this, he made up his mind and strode into the rift, without holding Chang Geng for what might have been the last time.

But Gu Yun's heart isn't made of iron. Like any other person, he has feelings; and though he's had to learn, over the years, to set them aside, that doesn't mean he's unaffected by them. So when Chang Geng's arms close around him, when he feels the sweet sensation of his lover's lips against his, all that compressed regret and grief of parting—and relief that it wasn't real—comes crashing down on him all at once.

He kisses back, fervently, blinking back tears. ]

[His eyes were closed at first.

For him, he was fairly certain that he would be fine. The chance that he'd die was very slim...and yet.

When he'd seen the message he'd still felt a sense of loss. Even if they make it to the point where they can live together peacefully, it would never be this carefree again.

He doesn't wish to stay here forever. But a little more time...that wasn't too greedy, was it?

It wasn't until he angles his head to deepen the kiss, bringing his hands up to frame Gu Yun's face, gently sweeping the pad of his thumb near the corner of his eyes did he notice...

He pulls back a little, unsure if the slight dampness there hadn't been something he imagined.]

Zi Xi?

[ When he hears his name called with such a questioning tone, his eyes blink open and he looks up. The tears he'd been repressing brim and roll down his cheeks, and he suddenly realizes why Chang Geng had called him. His instinct, instantly, is to dissemble, say something idiotic about the wind and the salt spray.

But won't that make him look even ridiculous? He lets his eyes drift shut once more and presses another kiss against Chang Geng's lips, lingering and sweet.

Softly, he murmurs: ]

Grief at separation, joy at reunion, which part of that is surprising?

[When the first tear fell, he froze, dumbfounded.

He doesn't remember ever seeing Gu Yun cry. And these tears...they were...for him?

His heart races and sinks seemingly all at once and he doesn't know what to do with himself.

The Yan Wang who was known to be well-spoken and silver-tongued was suddenly speechless. His attitude that made people think he wouldn't rush even if the sky fell was completely shattered.

He panicked.

A little clumsily, he leans in to kiss those tears away.]

What need is there for grief? We will see each other again. Even if it wouldn't be like it is here...I will never leave you.

[He almost wants to beg. don't cry. Even if they were tears of joy, how could he bear it.]

[ Showing this kind of weakness is something he could never indulge in at home. The safety and future of Great Liang rest on his shoulders; in public or in private, how can the Marquis of Order dare to weep?

But Gu Yun, of course, is not an iron puppet. His heart, thus shackled by duty, turns upon itself when in tumult, sometimes even putting his health at risk. It's the same crushing sensation that he'd suffered not so long ago, when Chang Geng finally confessed the true circumstances of his arrival on the Iris moon.

Back then, he'd coughed blood. But not this time.

Pouring out his heart in a farewell note, then allowing himself tears: it's the culmination of months of a warm life, loving and being loved, living as an ordinary person. ]

Stop, stop, who are you consoling?

[ Even as he scolds, he turns his face to have his tears kissed away. A wave comes up and splashes against their feet as they embrace on the sand.

He chuckles. ]

So much salt water around, you worry about a little bit on my face.

[He doesn't stop dropping kisses on Gu Yun's face even when there are no tears left.

Only when Gu Yun chuckles does the pain in his heart lessen and he huffs a short laugh as well.]

I can't help it. When I see you like this...my heart becomes unsettled and I don't know what to do.

[But now that the initial panic passes, his feelings are more complicated. He didn't want to be the source of Gu Yun's tears but...knowing he could allow himself this weakness...that wasn't a bad thing, was it?]

[ Most of him still thinks about Chang Geng as someone who needs to be protected. But there is, now, a part of him that thinks that he might allow himself the indulgence of leaning on Chang Geng, once in a while. This kid filled the treasury and rooted out corruption. He got himself stabbed for his trouble, it's true. But if he survives (this kid's martial arts are superb, how could he die?), then perhaps it will be a valuable lesson to him, to learn caution. Gu Yun himself had tasted the bitterness of failure his first time on the battlefield, and that's probably why he was able to live until today.

So if he lets himself depend on Chang Geng, just a little, won't that be good for the boy, as well? ]

I can be Grand Marshal Gu for as long as it takes, wear my armor to bed, every hour of the day, year after year.

[ He's been embracing Chang Geng, but now he slowly leans, gradually putting his whole weight upon his lover's body. ]

But let me take off my iron pauldrons for a moment, all right?

[Now that the initial panic has subsided, even though his heart still hurt, he could see things a little more clearly.

When he had once imagined being allowed to stand at this person's side and support him, he hadn't been thinking of adding more grief to Gu Yun's life, to be the reason for his tears.

And yet, the fact that he was being allowed to see this...wasn't that a sign of trust? Wasn't that proof, more than anything else that he really has become someone Gu Yun can depend on?

When Gu Yun's weight shifts, when they go from just holding each other to him holding Gu Yun...

He arm tightens, holding him more firmly.]

You can have as long as you need.

[He can promise that while they're here. And when they get back...one day, he will be able to promise that as well.]

[ Supported by Chang Geng's strong arms and enveloped by the scent of calming herbs, Gu Yun's heart settles. In this moment, he feels completely at peace. It's enough to allow him to hope—and begin to believe in those hopes.

Outside Great Liang, isn't it just a bunch of foreigners attacking? Inside, isn't it just a bunch of disloyal ministers, power-hungry for their own selfish purposes? How can any of them stand up to one Gu Yun, or one Chang Geng? Together, they can win.

And then, that little house in Jiangnan. He'll build a lovely garden, and fill the house with beautiful things, all for his darling.

Slowly, he stands up again, returning his weight to his own feet, but still embracing Chang Geng. ]

So we get a little more time to play, where's the harm in that? Let's play to our heart's content.

[He doesn't stop Gu Yun as his weight shifts again. It was normal, to want to be relied on by one's lover...but it was selfish to not want them to be able to stand on their own.

Chang Geng would always want to indulge in such things, but it's not what he wants for Gu Yun all the time.]

We've never taken a proper vacation. We're only making up for all the time we missed.

[And will miss because until things are finally secured they will return to a life where they are parted more often than they are together.

But that is also fine, because they have now...and they will have the future once everything falls into place.]

It's the final night of the festival.

[ He doesn't bother to hide the bit of disappointment in his voice. Everything about it had glittered gaily, shopping and food and entertainment... a big crowd of ordinary people living carefree lives. That might sound banal, but to him, it's a lifelong wish for his country. ]

Maybe that spa is still open, I heard it was popular. The Four Penguins, or something?

[ Slowly, he draws out of the embrace, and reaches for Chang Geng's hand. He glances up. ]

Or we could just walk along the beach, under the stars.

There will be other festivals.

[Here and in Great Liang as well.

His feelings about going to a spa together is complicated. The idea of relaxing together is very appealing...but the thought of Gu Yun being touched left him feeling annoyed (nevermind that the thought of being touched by strangers is also unappealing).

So he's frowning at the suggestion already though he smooths out the expression when Gu Yun pulls back into something more agreeable...and more than a little spoiled as he took Gu Yun's hand, threading their fingers together.]

Let's take a walk. Afterwards, if you want to try the spa, we can do it at home.

[He can do most of what they do anyway!]

Hm! All right.

[ "We can do it at home," yes he's well aware what that would lead to. Not that he minds. Indeed, the thread of moonlacing traveling between their fingers warms his body and naturally makes him think of other delights.

Another shallow wave approaches, again washing warm water over his toes, and it occurs to him that he's never really played in the ocean (that time he'd spent trying to catch octopi for the Coiled Hearts Festival didn't count).

He changes direction, and starts walking into the water slowly, dragging Chang Geng along, getting gently buffeted by the warm waves. Tiny creatures in the water are bioluminescent, so the waves seem to sparkle and glow. ]

[He follows where Gu Yun leads without resistance, stepping into the water behind him. Even when he smiles and says,]

Isn't it a bit late to go for a swim?

[He wasn't even wearing the right clothes.

The creatures in the water don't provide much light but like this...it's like they're standing in a sea of stars. Such a romantic moment...how could he be unaffected

He stops walking for a moment, tugging on Gu Yun's hand as his other hand came up to cup his face, before leaning in for a kiss.]

[ He's still wearing his flower-patterned shirt, but the board shorts he has on are meant to be swimwear, so he's not too concerned.

He too is struck by the beauty and romance of it all, so when Chang Geng reaches for him, he smiles into the kiss, winding his arms around his lover.

As the moonlacing energy flows into him, he has a sudden idea. The audacity of it surprises him, and yet it seems like the perfect thing to do in this beautiful setting. ]

No, it's a perfect time for a swim.

[ He tugs on Chang Geng's hand, to follow him deeper into the water. There's no real wave break, the water simply rises and falls gently, and it's warm. When the water is about chest deep, he stops and turns around, embracing Chang Geng once more.

Only this time, he slides a hand beneath the waistband of Chang Geng's shorts, fingertips grazing the top of his ass. ]

[Even if he disagreed, he would have let Gu Yun have his way. The waters are warm enough that the only complaint he would have wanted to make was unnecessary.

And...with the conversation they had earlier he can't even bring himself to call all this childish as he follows Gu Yun further into the waters.

He hadn't prepared himself for that hand sliding under his shorts, however. He wasn't complaining, it was just...unexpected.

He blushes a little even as he reaches up to wind his arms around Gu Yun's shoulders.]

...Zi Xi?

Hm?

[ His voice is gentle and innocent, as his hand reaches down further to cup Chang Geng's ass.

In such matters, Chang Geng is more energetic and adventurous, so Gu Yun typically lets him initiate. Also, as his former yifu, he still feels that being protective is his duty.

However, having leaned on Chang Geng, and allowed him to take on some of his burdens, perhaps he can make an exception to this rule tonight. ]

[He stares. Perhaps he wouldn't have been so surprised if they were back at their home...or even if the Iris Moon had been high but like this...he truly had trouble wrapping his head around the fact that this is happening.

Still, even if he doesn't entirely understand why it doesn't matter he supposes. His body is certainly showing interest in where this is all heading.

So, he moves closer, the sound of the waves drowning out the sound of his movement in the water.]

...nothing.

[Their clothes are well and truly soaked at this point and the way his shirt stuck to his skin was a little uncomfortable, but even so, he smiled a little as he leaned in, close enough their noses were bumping.]

Zi Xi, can you spoil me a little?

[ He waves his head from side to side, so that their noses rub gently together. In a half-whispered, sweet voice: ]

Don't I always?

[ As gentle as the nose brush is, the hand on Chang Geng's ass is firmer, massaging and kneading the muscle. He slides his other hand down to do the same, thus pulling Chang Geng's hips against his own, feeling Chang Geng's erection against his own.

Throughout this teasing through their clothes, Gu Yun keeps murmuring in an low, intimate tone: ]

Stars in the sky above, a sea of stars below, and my "Evening Star" next to me, brightest of all.

[The touch of their noses, so sweet and gentle, made his heart warm with affection.

The contrast of that innocent, tender gesture to the filthy way their bodies rubbed against each other under the water made the entire experience ever more overwhelming.

And this wasn't counting the fact that Gu Yun was initiating and didn't seem like he was going to suddenly become embarrassed by all this.

In the end it is the sweet words that bring a faint blush to his face.

Still, his eyes lid as he lets his entire front press flush against Gu Yun's body. His voice is a little breathless but otherwise there's nothing about his expression that indicates anything is happening.]

Zi Xi... [Sounded like a sigh but also a supplication as he pressed lingering kisses along Gu Yun's jaw while he lets his fingers dip under Gu Yun's collar.] If you keep saying such sweet things I won't know how to hold back.

[ He bends his neck to give Chang Geng access, both to kissing his jaw and reaching beneath his collar. ]

Mm? What sweet things? I am simply making an observation, pointing out a fact. I like to look at you, listen to you...

[ So many "sweet things," it's clear he doesn't want Chang Geng to do much holding back. Neither does he restrain himself, drawing away just enough to slide his hand in between their bodies, and unlace the front of Chang Geng's shorts. He slides his fingers in slowly, finally taking hold of Chang Geng's cock and giving it a long, downwards stroke. ]

...touch you, love you.

[He doesn't hesitate to take that invitation, sliding his hand more firmly under Gu Yun's shirt and let those kisses trail lower on his neck. He doesn't bite (even if a part of him kind of wanted to) but he allowed for the occasional scrape of teeth.]

Mn...

[There's a sudden exhale when he feels Gu Yun's hand on him. His fingers were calloused and the drag of his grip on him makes his breathing hitch before coming out in pants against Gu Yun's neck.

Even so, despite how desperately he's aroused right now, the shape of his mouth when he presses it to Gu Yun's skin is a smile.]

You can do all that--look at me, listen to me, touch me and love me... [His breath turns shaky from the way desire makes him tremble.] I'm yours.

[ The touch of Chang Geng's fingers upon his skin and kisses upon his neck are enough to distract Gu Yun from his attentions. His hand stills for a moment and he sighs. In such a situation, he's grown so used to letting Chang Geng take the lead and do whatever he likes, that he naturally relaxes, losing himself in Chang Geng's tender care.

After a moment, however, he catches his breath and resumes his stroking, neither too hard nor too gentle, too quick or too slow. Presently, when he can't stand it any longer, he loosens his own shorts and takes himself and Chang Geng in hand, stroking their cocks as one, held together.

...and in the middle of this, an inquisitive fish swims past, brushing its feathery fins against their legs. Gu Yun's eyes widen for an instant, and then he turns to capture Chang Geng's lips in his own, chuckling into the kiss: ]

We've got a voyeur.

[Chang Geng considered the current turn of events. It wasn't that Gu Yun didn't initiate but what he initiated and how he initiated and where wasn't usually, like this.

He considered it for a second before he decided to lean into it. Rather literally as he leaned his weight against Gu Yun, clutching his shoulders, making soft, breathless sounds in Gu Yun's ear.

He tilted his head for that kiss, fully intending on deepening it when he felt that brush against his leg. Though it was less the fish that stopped him from swiping his tongue against Gu Yun's mouth and more that he started talking.

He didn't actually care about the fish. He didn't have to fake his frown of impatience.]

Zi Xi, don't tease.

Edited 2020-08-29 04:01 (UTC)

INBOX

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

1/2

2/2

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)